And then it dawned on me that I've been running (off and on...some times more frequently than other times) for 17 years now. My body has miraculously held up for the most part. I've run on 5 different continents (well, I ran on a treadmill in India...I'm counting that as running in Asia...I know treadmill running doesn't totally count, but it was extremely hot, monsoon season, and I was a blonde white girl traveling solo in Mumbai - not the safest place to be running the streets alone), in all sorts of weather. It occurred to me that I've probably picked up some pearls of wisdom over all these years and miles.
So, here are a few of my thoughts on Things That Will Happen If You Run:
1) Your feet will be unattractive. Whether it's blisters, black toenails, missing toenails, or bloody spots on your ankles where your new running shoes rubbed you the wrong way (literally), your feet will definitely reflect the miles they take you. Live with it. If getting a pedicure makes you feel better, go for it, but just know it will be an uphill battle probably not really worth fighting.
2) Chafing will inevitably occur, and you inevitably won't find out about the spots that chafe until it's too late. This is what the post-run shower is for: to help you identify, through agonizing pain, the parts of your body that were rubbed raw during that 20-mile run.
3) You will know how far it is to everything within an 8 mile radius of your home: 2 miles to the post office, 3.75 miles to the stop sign at the intersection near the highway, 1.4 miles to the house with the funny lawn ornaments in front of it. While this is useful knowledge, most people don't really care or think of things in terms of mileage, so don't start spouting off your knowledge about distances to people unless they happen to be a runner, too.
4) You will get irritated with people who have no clue what it means to walk on the right side of the road. This probably won't really bother you unless you are a runner. Once you take to running trails, you will find that large groups of hikers who walk side-by-side and take up the entire width of the trail will trigger inordinate amounts of rage in you.
5) You will lose weight, but it might not necessarily be the parts of your body you wanted to lose the weight from. Boob fat is sadly easy to lose. Stomach and thigh fat: not so much.
