The hard and fast truths of running

I'm working on changing my name (got hitched last month! woohoo!) and going through the fun tasks of getting a new driver's license, passport, etc. I just got my new passport and license back and after looking at the photos I have to say, wow, I am not a spring chicken anymore. 31 years have crept up on me.

And then it dawned on me that I've been running (off and on...some times more frequently than other times) for 17 years now. My body has miraculously held up for the most part. I've run on 5 different continents (well, I ran on a treadmill in India...I'm counting that as running in Asia...I know treadmill running doesn't totally count, but it was extremely hot, monsoon season, and I was a blonde white girl traveling solo in Mumbai - not the safest place to be running the streets alone), in all sorts of weather. It occurred to me that I've probably picked up some pearls of wisdom over all these years and miles.

So, here are a few of my thoughts on Things That Will Happen If You Run:

1) Your feet will be unattractive. Whether it's blisters, black toenails, missing toenails, or bloody spots on your ankles where your new running shoes rubbed you the wrong way (literally), your feet will definitely reflect the miles they take you. Live with it. If getting a pedicure makes you feel better, go for it, but just know it will be an uphill battle probably not really worth fighting.

2) Chafing will inevitably occur, and you inevitably won't find out about the spots that chafe until it's too late. This is what the post-run shower is for: to help you identify, through agonizing pain, the parts of your body that were rubbed raw during that 20-mile run.

3) You will know how far it is to everything within an 8 mile radius of your home: 2 miles to the post office, 3.75 miles to the stop sign at the intersection near the highway, 1.4 miles to the house with the funny lawn ornaments in front of it. While this is useful knowledge, most people don't really care or think of things in terms of mileage, so don't start spouting off your knowledge about distances to people unless they happen to be a runner, too.

4) You will get irritated with people who have no clue what it means to walk on the right side of the road. This probably won't really bother you unless you are a runner. Once you take to running trails, you will find that large groups of hikers who walk side-by-side and take up the entire width of the trail will trigger inordinate amounts of rage in you.

5) You will lose weight, but it might not necessarily be the parts of your body you wanted to lose the weight from. Boob fat is sadly easy to lose. Stomach and thigh fat: not so much.

To Vibram or not to Vibram?

I admit, I've jumped on the minimalist bandwagon and been running (off and on) in Vibrams for the past 8 months or so. And the jury's still out on whether they've been a good investment or not.

I first decided to get a pair when a running buddy of mine made the switch to five-fingers and swore by them. "It feels so much more natural, so organic," she gushed, as she glided silently down the trail next to me. I'm no hippie, so the word organic made me cringe a bit and instinctively made me skeptical, but when I saw that she had completely abandoned her cushy New Balances and was running exclusively in her Vibrams (and running faster than me!), I began to think maybe there was something to it.

Then I finally dusted off the copy of "Born to Run" someone had given me for my birthday the previous year and became a convert to the barefoot running school of thought. The chapters on early humans outrunning their prey while barefoot brought out some primal instinct in me and I decided to rebel against Nike and Asics' cushioned heel marketing ploy and try some minimalist running of my own. I went to my nearest sports store and picked up the only pair of Vibrams they had available in my size. Which of course, were ridiculous-looking (seriously, what design genius thought it would be cool to make already-ridiculous-looking shoes with finger-like toes even more clownish by producing them in a bright blue color?) and pretty damn expensive when you consider that could achieve the same effect for free by just heading out your front door barefoot.

After an extremely painful first running experience in them, before I learned that you don't need to run on tiptoe in order to strike with your midfoot first and that you shouldn't attempt a 3-mile run the first time you wear them, I was skeptical again. Surely my calves shouldn't be sore for a WEEK after a 3 mile run, I thought to myself. However, cheapskate that I am, I was determined to get my money's worth out of those shoes, and so I kept at it, alternating Vibram usage with runs in my regular Asics and gradually building up to 4 or 5 miles.

And it's grown on me. I am fortunate enough to live in a beach town with a wonderful trail of hard-packed sand minutes from my front door and beautiful year-round running weather. It's the perfect place for wearing Vibrams: no rocks and no hard pavement, just miles of nice soft ground with an ocean view. When I put on my Vibrams, I feel different. I feel like a runner. Like it's just me and the earth and my body just wants to go. I don't know if I actually run much faster in Vibrams than in my running shoes, but I feel like I'm faster. I feel more cat-like, more ninja-like. I mentally transform from a jogger into a runner when I wear them.

However, the case of tendonitis in my right knee that has been hinting at causing problems for the past year has not improved since I started wearing Vibrams more often. In fact, my knee pain has gradually been increasing over the past few months. I don't wear my Vibrams on runs longer than 5 miles or so (the balls of my feet and my calves won't let me), if it's below 60 degress out (I'm a Southern California wimp), or if I'm going to be doing the bulk of my running on hard pavement. So I typically end up wearing Vibrams 1-2 days a week and my Asics for runs the other days of the week. I could potentially be negating any of the positive effects of minimalist running by alternating Vibram usage with cushy heel-strike inducing sneakers, but I also don't seem to be staving off tendonitis any better by wearing them. My per-mile pace hasn't dramatically improved, and I'm sure I still have the same awkward loping stride I always had - no magical transformation to gracefully striding runner here. Plus I still occasionally get sore calves or calluses on the balls of my feet after a good hard Vibram run, which reduces my running capacity for the next couple of days.

However, I do think wearing Vibrams a couple days a week is good for me psychologically - it gets me excited about running and makes me feel a bit more confident about my run. They're so much easier to pack when traveling than running shoes: all you have to do is throw lightweight Vibrams into your suitcase and you're done, with no bulky sneakers and multiple pairs of socks to worry about. And since I'm wearing them a couple times a week instead of sneakers, I don't put as much mileage on my sneakers as quickly. Which means that I don't wear out my sneakers as quickly and have to buy expensive new Asics as often - and this, as we know, is a cheapskate's dream.

So this raises the eternal question: to Vibram or not to Vibram?